A lot has happened since we posted about sending off our dossier. Those closest to me know there have been some ups and downs, some delays, and a lot of praying. Again, I’ll have to fill in some of the details later on once the dust settles.
The long-and-short of it is that we are still waiting. We wait hopefully, though. Our dossier has likely been in-country about a month now, and it could be that the very next word we get from Little Man’s country is, “Come, meet your boy!” There are two trips involved, so it will still be several months before we get him home, but the thought of being able to see him, and hug him, and take a bazillion pictures of him (and I think we’ll even be able to share them afterwards!) is becoming tantalizingly real.
Fundraising is always ticking along in the background, and we were thrilled to find out last week that we are receiving a very generous grant from Show Hope, Steven Curtis Chapman’s adoption aid organization. It always feels a little funny to talk about finances here, but I mention this both to give glory to God for His amazing provision, and also to encourage those who may feel drawn to international adoption but see the cost as an insurmountable hurdle. God wants to put orphans in families, and He really does supply every need to make it happen!
Finally, I’ll leave you with a quandary. Little Man is old enough to be quite attached to his name, and since there isn’t a whole lot he’ll get to keep from his current life, and since we like it a lot anyway, we’ve decided to keep it. We will be giving him a new middle name, though, and that means that we only get to pick one name. I’m sure I don’t need to spell out for you what a big deal this decision is for me!
Here’s the dilemma. All of our girls have (in a roundabout way, at least) one Family Name and one Name We Just Loved. We aren’t giving LM two middle names, it’s just not our thing, so which one should he get? Ideally we would find a family name that we also happen to love, but so far that’s not presenting itself. Adoption experts and name enthusiasts, help me out here. Which one says, “We think you are awesome, and we’re so excited you are joining our family!” better: a family name or a name that we just adore on its own merits?
I suggest “Adrian”. It’s a family name and we all love it 😉
So true! But I’m going to have to say “NAY” to that one 😉
I’m just not sure. My instinct says a boy probably wouldn’t care if he had a ‘family’ name or not (at least the men I know wouldn’t care). And he is keeping his bio family name. He will also have your last name. Then, I wonder if you are planning to more bio children, would you regret using the name you adore as a middle name? I’m no help at all.
I love reading your blog.
Praying all goes well, quickly!
Susan (LilyColleen – IV)
Go with family-the men have been waiting a long time!
Well, technically he gets a “family” name when he’s adopted and gains your surname. So, I’d probably go with a name you adore.
I say family name (“family name that you like at least a decent amount”?). Yes, he’ll get your last name, but that’s automatic, while choosing to give him a name that has familial significance says “you’re one of us” much more strongly.
I say Family Name. Otherwise, here is the potential conversation:
LM: Why is my middle name “”
Mom/Dad: Because we love that name!
LM: Don’t you love my first name?
AHHHHHH!!!!!
So I say – Let God help you fall in love with his first name and give him a family name as his middle name to say “You are 100% a member of this family”.
What a quandry! For me the family aspect would be really big. I would agree with Jeff that a family name might just re-inforce the belonging to your wider family as well your immediate family. Perhaps the 2 names could become one somehow……
I say simply go with the name you adore more. Whether it’s for its own sake or the family thing. If you *love* it, use it. 🙂
I think you should do something similar to Juniper’s name–find a family name you at least like, and modify it into something you love. Then you get the best of both worlds.
DH and I just decided that we are going to try and adopt a little boy with special needs from the Ukraine! Reece’s Rainbow will facilitate the adoption (he is listed on their site). DH and I haven’t discussed names, but when it comes to adoption, I’d rather our guy got to keep all his names–including his surname–no matter how many middle names he ends up having. He is four so changing his name (which we probably won’t know until we meet him) doesn’t seem good, unless he wants that. If it is a very foreign name with a straightforward English alternative, we might call him by the English alternative, I think. I will definitely be giving him a name from us, though, and it will probably be a family name unless the name he already has happens to be one. I think that it’s more important for all of our kids to have at least one family name (though I’ve also convinced myself to love our family names). I’m trying not to think too much about names until we are formally committed to him though; first we need to be in contact with the agency that will do our homestudy (I hope we are, but they have to say they’ll do a homestudy for us to adopt this boy now). Also, the final choice will likely depend on what his name is now, because there would be several choices for a family name, and I’d want the full name to flow as well as possible. I might also include as a middle name the name he goes by on Reese’s Rainbow, by which many people have known him and been praying for him for years.
DH is overwhelmed enough thinking about adding a big brother to our family that I’m sure he would appreciate me doing the legwork of thinking all this through 🙂