Finding Joy

Posted on April 27, 2019 by Jodi

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, then you know that this has been a rather intense… well, DECADE for our family. We have added a new child every single year since 2011, and even before that (as strangers would tell me almost daily) I had my hands full. There was a good bit of thriving, but on the whole there was a lot of survival mode going on.

A few things have shifted recently. I now have two teenaged daughters who can stay home and even help with babysitting so that we don’t ALL have to go to ALL THE THINGS. Also, (can you believe?) Teddy has been home almost two years, and there is no new adoption in the pipeline. I don’t think I realized how time- and mental-energy-consuming all the adoption processes were until we emerged from them!

Freya’s birth also knocked the wind out of me a bit. I am pleased to say (thanks in part to an herbal supplement called Ivy’s Mukta Vati) that my blood pressure is well under control now, and I am finally off my meds for that.

Our new addition for 2019 will be neither a baby nor an adopted child, but my mom! We are so excited to welcome her into our (new!) home this summer. She has long wanted to be able to help me more than she currently can living a half hour away, and I have long needed the help. We also really like each other, so it’s win-win!. Of course, we realize there will be hard things about sharing space (even a lot of it!), but we are prepared to face them and excited for this to be a positive change for all of us.

It feels like we have now entered a period of stabilization. I’ve been addressing things that had fallen off the radar over the past couple years (Delia finally had a sedated dental exam after years of not cooperating with the dentist, and guess what? Not one cavity!). I’m even beginning to remember things I used to do just for fun. I’ve found some new ones, too!

Here are a few things I’ve been doing lately that make me smile:

1. Crocheting. I had never really stopped doing it, but the projects had gotten progressively smaller and rarer. In February and March, the kids and I participated in a mystery crochet-along to make these beautiful dolls. Just because!

I’ve also embarked on a year long crocheting challenge to make each of the kids a birthday gift that they draw for me. They’ve drawn me some doozies, but it’s been so fun!

2. Photobooking. I discovered Shutterfly right around the time that I accepted the fact I would never be a real scrapbooker. I have always made a first year book this way for each of the babies/kids, but recently I’ve gotten more ambitious with this hobby. I’ve found ways to combine deals to make the books more affordable, and I’ve begun going back into the archives of our photos to make books of all of our many memories. I am pleased to say, after 19 years of marriage, that I finally have a wedding album. Trevor even got a baby book of himself for his 40th birthday!

3. My sister’s wedding. The big girls and I had such fun planning my sister’s surprise shower. Her bridesmaids were wonderful and it was a joy to get together with them to plan and conspire. The big day is in June, which means, next on my agenda: the speech!

4. Reading the Bible. I joined some ladies from church way back in September in a school-year-long journey through the whole Bible. The pace is intense (about six chapters a day with Sundays off and occasional catch-up days), but it’s been so good that I’m already excited to do it again next year. It never ceases to amaze me how you can read the Bible your whole life and always find something new.

5. Reading in general. I’ve gotten back into the habit of reading a tiny bit most nights just before going to sleep. It isn’t much, but over the course of six months or so I managed to get through the whole Anne of Green Gables series for the first time. I felt like they were written just for me, and yet I somehow never discovered them until my forties! Trevor is reading them now that I’m finished. I catch him reading them in bed and alternately giggling and tearing up. I think we’re both getting sappier in our old age!

6. This baby! Oh, what a joy our sweet Freya Poppy is to us each day. She is full of life and smiles and personality. Nine months old already!

I’m dabbling in some other new things, too. I’m just sticking my little toe in the water of some long-needed health changes, and I plan to take up blogging, too, so watch this space!

First Impressions

Posted on May 25, 2017 by Jodi

Teddy and my weary world-travelers are home – praise the Lord!

Today is day five and I feel I am only just starting to get a sense of what things might be hard about our new normal and what things are going to be awesome. And it will likely all change again by this time next week.

The first few nights, Teddy was jetlagged, which meant he was wide awake in the middle of the night. This was when we learned (well, we sort of already knew) that Teddy is a great collector and relocator of things. He helped himself to a few of the sweets Trevor had brought back from China to share, but not as many of them as we initially thought – he hid a second box in Niko’s bed. The next morning, he had stashed a few pieces of (fairly important, undealt-with) mail in the puzzle cupboard in his room, my Borax and Trevor’s shaving cream in the fridge, and all the pens and pencils we keep in the kitchen in the big crayon basket in the boys’ room. We can chuckle about it now, because as he’s slept later each morning he’s had less time to devote his item relocation program, but it was pretty unsettling.

He is mostly very happy and sweet, game for whatever the kids are busy with. He does have a very strong stubborn streak, which I’m sure we will see more of as time goes on, but for now, he is mostly happy to be with us and do what we’re doing.

He immediately adored Coraline, having apparently identified her as a smaller, squishier version of Bea. He is fascinated with Delia. They both love to give each other hugs, but usually only at times when the other doesn’t want one. It will be an interesting dynamic to watch! Lewis is enjoying him tremendously and suddenly seems like the resident big kid in charge, excitedly introducing Teddy to all the fun things about being a Young (“Teddy! Tuppon (Come on)!” All of the kids are just really excited he’s finally here.

Teddy is super affectionate. He was uncertain about me when he first got home on Saturday, but I got my first bear hug on Sunday morning just towards the end of our church service. I then got my second through twelfth bear hug, along with hugs and kisses for Niko, Bea, and Pippa. At first, we could hear “aww”s from the pews around us, then “aww”s gave way to giggles as he kept relentlessly smothering us with hugs and kisses. It was pretty sweet, but it got less entertaining when I finally had to try to peel him off his siblings, and that was no easy feat!

All things considered, we’ve had a good first week. Going from 8 kids (I got a little bit comfy there!) to 11 was an adjustment for me. I think I had prepared myself for Teddy being hard, but forgot what an adjustment it would be for everyone else. As always, God’s grace has been huge, I just need to learn to lean into it more. We are so thankful for the incredible gift He has given us in our new son. Welcome home, Thaddeus Merit. You’re officially a Young now!

Homeward Bound!

Posted on May 18, 2017 by Jodi

As I type this, Trevor and the kids are having one final lunch in Guangzhou and then beginning their journey to Hong Kong and home. And that means that I am officially *not* going to China!

Yesterday (Wednesday) morning for them was Tuesday evening for us, and we were all praying fervently for the consulate appointment that caused us so much uncertainty just before Trevor traveled.

He was in a group of a dozen American adoptive families, all waiting, as he was, to finalize their child’s US visa.

The first thing they announced to the group was: we will need just one parent to come forward for the interview, and that parent must be a US citizen with their US passport. (I am so thankful I didn’t hear the tale until everything was already over!)

Trevor was the very last to be called, and, as promised, the first question was, “US passport, please?”

Trevor showed his British passport and US permanent resident card, and produced the email from that very office stating that he would be able to complete the adoption without me.

The man conducting the interview went to fetch his supervisor and discuss. I can only imagine how long those minutes must have felt. Finally, he agreed that the permanent resident card was sufficient, and continued with the interview.

After asking Trevor a few questions, the man spoke to Teddy. China’s policy (which I knew about but had forgotten since it never applied to us before) is that any child age ten or older must give consent to being adopted.

Well, our boy was apparently not in the mood for an interview. Though he is fairly verbal and certainly understood what was being asked of him, he refused to answer. “Well,” the man suggested in Chinese, “Could you point to your daddy?” Nope. Teddy could not.

The supervisor was fetched again. When it was clear that Teddy was to be an immovable force, the man said to Trevor, “I can tell from your interactions with him that he is clearly part of your family.”

And with that, the interview was over. Praise be to God!

They fly home on Saturday. God speed, my sweet loves!

How It’s Going So Far

Posted on May 10, 2017 by Jodi

I’m still having technical difficulties getting photos to load here, but I think I’ve pinned down that it is just because the files are too big. This is a heavily cropped one that worked just fine, so we should be able to get to the bottom of it now.

Three Peas in a Pod

Trevor and I get about a half an hour of chat time each morning and evening (his morning to my evening, and mine to his -still so weird!) so I get little tidbits of their adventures each day.

On the first night, Niko took one for the team by taking a bath with Teddy to show him how fun and not-scary bathtime is. Apparently Teddy was fascinated by Niko’s jutting, bony shoulders and elbows (I tease him that he sharpens them when I’m not looking!) and kept reaching out to touch them. They do have rather opposite body types!

Teddy is quite the entertainer. He did a rousing bit of interpretive dance in the park, patted a man’s tummy in an elevator (thankful he was a jolly sort of man and patted Teddy’s right back) and collected some leaflets in a goverment office and began handing them out.

It sounds like they are having more good moments than hard, but there has been some hard as well. Please pray for endurance for Trevor and the kids, and that they would continue to be able to laugh rather than cry in those moments when you don’t quite know which one to do!

As for us, our days have been full and peaceful, which is such a gift from God.

The Big Day

Posted on May 8, 2017 by Jodi

Today was a red letter day: Thaddeus Merit Young is officially ours!

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but sometimes a picture is worth so many words that you don’t even know where to begin. This morning, I woke up to this picture, and my heart was full.

If he looks a little uncertain in the picture above, he didn’t stay that way for long. Back at the hotel Teddy had a blast brushing the kids’ hair and posing for silly photos. Unfortunately, I have tried and tried to share some of them here, but the files seem to be too big. I will do my best to fix this technical difficulty soon!

Trevor says that Teddy had a good first day. Some stubborn moments, but he can usually be persuaded to comply with a smile and a bit if silliness to diffuse the situation. He slept well (it is already tomorrow in China!) which is a huge blessing in itself. The kids are absolutely loving him, as you will see if I can ever get my blog to talk to Trevor’s pictures.

Meanwhile, on the homefront, we have had smooth, easy days so far. This is as much an answer to prayer as Teddy’s good first day. Thank you for your continued prayers – it is still 13 more sleeps till they come home (though only 12 more bedtimes, which is a bigger deal from where I sit!)

The Adventure Begins

Posted on May 5, 2017 by Jodi

On Thursday afternoon, Trevor, Niko and Bea set off for Hong Kong, their pit stop on the way to Teddy, and today I received photographic evidence that they made it – whew!

These photos from Trevor absolutely made my day, but I received another photo this evening that I wasn’t expecting. A photo of another adventure that began today.

This is our sweet Teddy in the car with his orphanage director starting the journey to meet Trevor, Niko and Bea on Monday!

How did I get this amazing, behind-the-scenes glimpse of our boy? It occurs to me that I never really told you the story of how we found Teddy. Well, grab a cup of coffee, and I’ll tell you now while we wait for the exciting part to happen.

A little over three years ago, I began attending a wonderful, intimate support group for adoptive moms that meets five times a year. It’s over an hour drive to get there, but so worth it for my sanity and the well-being of our whole family.

About two and a half years ago, my dear friend Kelly whom I met through this group came home with two new sons from China. Even amid the flurry of excitement and chaos of her own two new boys, she shared with our group her burden for two other little boys she met there. These two boys, it seemed, were given free rein to wander around the facility and surrounding area. It wasn’t a good situation.

Shortly after that, one of those boys went missing. He still has not been found.

The other little boy was our Teddy.

Kelly wanted desperately to find a home for this little guy, but we had just begun our process for Lewis, and adopting another little boy with Down syndrome was just not even on my radar. I prayed for those little boys, but then life moved on.

A little over a year ago, right around the time we traveled to bring Lewis home, I became a little obsessed with the fact that Chinese adoption regulations allow for “reusing your dossier”, or parts of it at least, for a second adoption started shortly after the first. I will admit that even while we were in China falling in love with our precious new son, I was looking at waiting children on our agency’s website.

My heart was for another child with Down syndrome, which just hadn’t turned out to be the scary special need it had once seemed AT ALL. In fact, it was quickly apparent that Lewis’s extra chromosome, rather than leaving him deficient in any way, had actually made him a little bit extra awesome.

Our agency had pages of beautiful babies with Ds – oh, how they tugged at my heart strings! But they were all babies. Not one over the age of four or five. Knowing that older children can be much harder to find families for, and having seen first hand what a blessing they are, that was where my heart drew me.

After we were home, I was mentioning to Kelly that we were interested in adopting another little boy with Ds, perhaps an older one, maybe 9 or 10. She could hardly contain herself! “That’s Didi!”

She sent us his file, and we knew immediately that if we were going to reuse our dossier, this was the one.

We began asking our agency about reusing our dossier. They were open to the idea at first, but then Verity made her presence known.

We went back and forth for about two months, but in the end, despite having let us adopt while pregnant twice before, they said we would have to wait until after baby to begin our process, and waiting would make it too late for a “reuse”.

That could have been the end of it. I thought it probably would be. But meanwhile, the agency who had a partnership with Teddy’s orphanage had reached out to let us know that they would love to work with us.

When one door closed, another appeared. Let’s push it, Trevor suggested, and see if it opens.

And open, it did.

So, with a new agency and a new home study social worker, we set out on a completely new adoption, not a “reuse” after all. Because once we knew this boy was ours, we just couldn’t walk away.

Here we are, one year later, days away from receiving this precious little man into our family.

Thanks to Kelly’s ongoing connections with the orphanage director as well as a missionary couple that work nearby, we have been able to have regular updates and new photos of our boy throughout the process. We were even able to “send him” a birthday cake last summer!

And so it is that we have a backstage pass to his journey to meet us. Today he is on his way to the city where he will meet Trevor and the kids, just as they are on their way to meet him. I can only imagine what he is feeling. I don’t know how much he understands of what is about to take place, but please pray for his heart, that he would feel safe and loved right from the beginning.

A Gift from God

Posted on May 1, 2017 by Jodi

I promised an update on Tuesday, and I did not deliver. Sorry! In fact, Tuesday ended up being a completely uneventful day. We stayed home, we did school, we went to small group Bible study. But I’ve gotten ahead of myself.

Last Monday morning, I woke up to an email from our agency, simply stating: It looks like we may be okay for Trevor to travel without you (?!) Below that was a forwarded chain of correspondence between our agency and the US Consulate in Guangzhou. While parts of it were unclear, it does seem that there is an exception for Trevor’s type of residency visa, and we have it in writing now that he can complete the adoption without me. This was an answer to prayer, a gift from God beyond what I had even hoped for (though Trevor was praying for exactly this)!

And now, I want to tell you a story about a little boy with no name.

We found out about our newest little man from my dear friend Kelly, whose son came from the same orphanage. She came home with her boys two years ago desperate to find a family for little “DiDi”, back when we were just at the start of our process to adopt Lewis. Adopting a second little boy with Down syndrome wasn’t even on our radar yet.

We found other adoptive moms and agency advocates who knew him, always by the name of DiDi, the word in his language for “little brother”.

One mom shared with me that her husband had asked an orphanage worker what his name was, and she had answered, “He doesn’t have one. He has Downs.”

Let that sink in for a minute. The people looking after our boy did not even think he was worthy of having a name. Words cannot express how this broke my heart.

When we received his file, we discovered that his name is, indeed, just Di – also the character for little brother. It seems that when his file was prepared, they just wrote down the name he had always gone by.

Well, we aim to give this boy a name.

We are calling him…

Thaddeus Merit Young

We will call him Teddy for short, to echo DiDi, the name he has so long been called.

His “Di” is still in there (he WILL be a little brother, after all!) but his new name, Thaddeus, means “gift of God”, and that is exactly what he is.

His middle name was my grandfather’s. An English word denoting worth or value.

This boy, once deemed unworthy even of a name, is a gift from God. He has immeasurable worth. He is worthy not only of a name, but of a family, of a home, of love, and we cannot wait give him all of those things.

Adoption Update and Prayer Request

Posted on April 23, 2017 by Jodi

I hope you all had a blessed Easter – we certainly did!

A lot has happened since my last adoption-related post, most of it very good. Most recently, we received our travel approval on April 18th! It seemed like every thing was falling into place for Trevor to go to China in a week or two and bring home our boy… until yesterday.

Our agency called to say that because Trevor is not a US citizen, I must be present for our US consulate appointment in China. They somehow missed the fact that he is British, and we missed the fact that that was a problem, especially since it wasn’t an issue for Trevor completing Niko’s adoption without me.

They wondered if we could just switch – I go to China, and he stay home with the kids. After all, my visa is still good from our trip to get Lewis.

Well, we have a saying we use a lot in our home: “Play to your strengths”. Solo international travel is certainly not one of my strengths, but breastfeeding a baby is an unequivocal weakness of Trevor’s. Switching places is not going to be an option!

Our current plan is for Trevor to travel with Bea and Niko as planned, and for me and Verity to join them just for the last few days of the trip, including the consulate appointment.

In order to do this, Verity will need a passport very, very quickly. We plan to walk in to our local passport office on Tuesday (the first available appointment was Thursday, but we have been told they accept walk-ins) and ask them to expedite her passport and give it to us the same day. Then the week that Trevor goes ahead of us will give us time to get her visa. If this happens, our travel plans can remain unchanged.

Would you please pray with us that we find favor on Tuesday and that this can happen? I will try to come back and update when we know more. Maybe I’ll even tell you about his name when I do! I have left you hanging far too long on that front.

Winter Haps

Posted on February 27, 2017 by Jodi

Trevor asked me a couple nights ago if I still had a blog. I’m not sure how kidding he was, but this is for him and anyone else who checks in once in a while despite my gross neglect.

As usual there has been much busy-ness, and most of it has been very good.

Most recently, just this morning in fact, we received the hard copy of our Letter of Acceptance from China! This means our dossier has been approved and all that remains is the final step of his US immigration paperwork. It also I can now share with you the boy that will soon be our son. (I could also share his name with you, but what would be the fun in that? Names deserve their own posts. Don’t you think? Stay tuned!)

Isn’t he delightful? We can’t wait!

We’ve had two birthdays this month, with four more in the next two weeks!

Romilly is now 11…

And Juniper, the baby of our “Original Four”, is 8.

Happy birthday, girls!

This little one, like her sisters before her, has refused to stay tiny and new. Sigh. In a fit of rebellion she even went and sprouted two teeth at just four months old!

But oh, how we all adore her.

School is moving along. We are just about two-thirds through our year. People are learning things. We’re in a pretty good groove.

Coraline is reading beginner books thanks in large part to the efforts of her biggest sister. Pippa is learning algebra and loving it, which just fills my math-minor heart with the greatest joy. Delia has made some strides with independence getting dressed, and she will be trying out a tablet-based communication device in the next couple months. Lewis wrote his name by himself for the first time a couple weeks ago. I think the whole neighborhood heard our cheers!

One of the greatest blessings of this school year has been our dear friends, the Weavers, volunteering to have our five “readers” at their home each time I take Lewis and Delia to Theraplay.

These days are not just free childcare for me, but amazing, enriching, educational experiences for our kids. They do art and photography lessons, science experiments that I have neither the equipment nor the time to do at home (they actually looked at broccoli DNA under a microscope!) and sometimes just play educational board games. It has transformed what felt like wasted time each week for our big kids into one of the highlights of their week.

Not to mention it gives me some much-needed downtime hanging out at Theraplay with my little girls.

Trevor is working 12-hour shifts again (with long weekends) after several brutal months of Monday to Friday weeks (how do people live like that?!), and life is feeling manageable. That can only mean we are in the calm before the storm as we prepare to bring home our newest member. I will take the calm wherever I can get it!

November News

Posted on November 28, 2016 by Jodi

My goodness, time is flying by these days. Happy Thanksgiving! And this year, we have much to be thankful for!

(The AWANA gang dressed up for Harvest Night. Our new AWANA leaders are fairly exhausting me with all the theme nights, but the kids are having a ball!)

Since Verity’s arrival, we have been getting back into our groove with life and school, but there is precious little down time. I always forget how time consuming nursing a new baby is, but I do remember that these early months fly by too quickly. All too soon, she’ll be wriggling to get off my lap and explore, so I am soaking in every minute of her while I can.

(First smiles!)

The end of October saw us dressing up an awful lot for people who don’t celebrate Halloween. First, the kids had their annual “Favorite Bible Hero” night at AWANA.

(From left to right:Bea as Balaam’s donkey, Niko as David, Lewis as an Armor of God knight, Pippa as Esther, Coraline as Ruth, Romilly as Mephibosheth, Junie as Lydia, and Delia and Annis just jumping in the picture for fun.)

Then we found ourselves accidentally bound for the zoo on their Trick-or-Treat day, so the kids chose costumes for that, too. I was particularly impressed with the Anna braid hat that Pippa improvised for Annis that morning!

On Halloween night, we were visited by these two rather unlikely trick-or-treaters: Honald Clump and Dillary Trinton. They brought us candy – so we let them in. One of these years our kids are no longer going to be surprised by the “surprise visit” from Pop-pop and Debedee on Halloween, I think!

In early November the kids had several opportunities to volunteer with Operation Christmas Child. First, they helped give out and collect shoeboxes at Chick-Fil-A, then they helped out at our church’s collection center.

And that’s what we’ve been up to.

But if you’ve made it this far and are still reading, you will now be rewarded with the biggest news of our November so far: our dossier was logged into China on November 8th!

Yes. That means that we are adopting again! In fact, we are quite far along in the process and hope to be traveling to bring home our new son in the Spring.

I have not been deliberately keeping secrets. This adoption, unlike our others, has felt very tentative at each step. There have been so many times that it seemed like God might be closing the door only to open it again, that we are only now letting ourselves begin to trust that this is actually happening.

Although I am not allowed to share pictures publicly yet, you can get a sneak preview of our boy here on our Family Sponsorship page at Reece’s Rainbow, and learn a bit more about our new son by reading his little bio on the same site here. We are so excited for him to join our family!

And with that, I now owe you a birth story and an adoption story. But for now, I need to sleep while my baby is sleeping!

Jodilightful!

Category Archives: Adoption